I'm trembling almost too much to type. I want to scream, hit something, hurt someone, anything but just sit here. It finally happened. She slept with someone else. It was only a matter of time. And I actually thought I'd found the one this time. The One. But I was wrong, she's just another girl. Just another name on a list. A memory. A deleted scene.

getting in a million memories just to forget her
the difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
cookies for the road
took me by the soul
hunger for the drama
hunger for the nurture
gonna take it further
the hurt feels like murder
interperate
the eyes
read the lines on her face
the sunshine is fake
how much time did i waste?
Fuck you lucy for leaving me
Fuck you lucy for not needin me
I wanna say fuck you
because i still love you
no, im not ok
and i dont know what to do
Atmosphere - Fuck You Lucy

I fucked up and she gave me another chance. I guess that makes her a better person because she's not getting another chance. Doesn't even sound like she'd like one. But by giving me another chance it gave her the ability to fuck me over. Smart move. I guess we're even now. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

So much for sleeping tonight.

I just want to be so mean to her right now, all these names I could call her, but it's not worth it. Maybe I'll post the email she sent to her friend describing in detail her transgressions. Maybe I will.

I guess we know now why she hasn't been calling me every night like she used to. She's been to busy making out with him. I hope he enjoys the hookah I bought you.

It's my fault, I understand that. But for you to throw our friendship away like that. I don't understand that. All those things you said you wanted to do with me. Like traveling, we were going to start this summer. Fuck you. Fuck you for ruining it. Fuck you for pretending. Fuck you.