For those of you worried that I might die of thirst sitting here surfing, no need to worry, I've finally given into self preservation and got my lazy ass out of the chair to get some much needed moisture. Of course, I sat back down without thinking of obtaining some nourishment as well. So back up I go to grab a delicous tamale my mom made over the holidays, it should still be good to eat right?

I need a new online name, the Freon era is over, it has been for a long time. Time to move onto something new. Something to think about tonight.

Update: Tiberius Zero, for now, we'll see how that sits with me tomorrow.
I'm up late, just wandering the web with no real destination. I checked out some recipes for dog treats I might make my dogs. Also looked at some trails up at Mount Charelston I might take them, especially my Siberian so she can see some snow for her first time. All of these are maybe's. Not really up to doing anything lately, a little depressed I guess. Friends keep calling and asking me to do things and it's rare when I actually do. Just to point out how lazy I am: I'm pretty parched at the moment and in my fridge there is a nice, cold Squirt, but I'm to lazy to get up and grab it. Trolling around Myspace just seems more interesting then quenching my thirst.

I checked out some of my old drafts that I have saved on here and saw one from early last year. I decided to post it, I just found it interesting how I felt back then compared to how I feel now. These days I don't really want to get married, not like I did back then. And I'm not drunk at the moment either like I was then, whether that's good or bad can be debated. Here's the draft as I wrote it back in March 2005:
My cousin is getting married. That phrase fucks with my mind every time. When I first heard it I was speechless. Ali is getting married. My other cousin, Axel is already married and has a cute little baby girl. He's younger than me. Now Ali, who is older than me is getting married, his girl pregnant, by the end of the year he'll have a baby. That leaves me, no wife, no child, not even a girlfriend.

There's three of us, born around the same time. Nobody in our family is as close as we are. Ali, Alexis and Axel. Three brothers from different parents. We couldn't be closer if we were brothers. I grew up in Wyoming, they grew up in Chihuahua, but when we got together it was like we'd never been separated. And now I feel like it's over. Wives and children, really changes the picture, no room for me now. Can't drop by and have Daddy go cruising or bar hopping with me.

I always thought I would be first to get married, I don't know why but I did. But now I'll be the last, if at all. Ali's getting married this April. Hopefully I'll be at the wedding. At first I didn't want to go, but I've come to realize that I need to be there. I missed Axel's, but I don't have to miss this one.

I feel bad sometimes, that the life I'm living is without them. They don't know English, they don't live in Vegas, they don't enjoy the luxuries I do. I feel like I need to move back home, like I've sold out, I have to go back to my roots. Growing up my plans were always to marry a Mexican girl, a pretty girl, a girl that could cook like my mom, a girl that grew up like me. But she doesn't exist. As close as I am to my cousins, I'm still the outsider. As close as I get to my friends here, I'm still the outsider. It doesn't matter who I'm with, I'm different.

This is the shit I think about when I drink. I haven't had a good drinking session by myself in quite awhile, but I need to. It helps release emotions. If I could write every thought that is going on in my head, this would be damn interesting, but I can't so I'll leave it at that.

A veces pienso que tu nunca vendrás
pero te quiero y te tengo que esperar
este destino me lleva hasta el final
donde algún día mi amor te encontrara

Cafe Tacuba - Como Te ExtrañO


Took a trip to the other side of Vegas last night with Chatterjee. We cruised over to the Divebar on East Tropicana to check out The Capricorns. They're described by the local alt-weekly as "casio-driven party pop," which after listening to on myspace, I decided I liked. I was really stoked to check them out, I guess they're huge on the indie scene and I wanted to see what it was all about. Plus I haven't been to a show in a long time so this was going to be cool. I was expecting a small, dingy little hole in the wall but the Divebar is pretty cool. It is small but I liked that about it, you get to be right up with the band. Plus the bartender was hot, blonde with extra large breasts, that's always nice. Not only was she hot, but she was nice which is very rare. We ordered some drinks and sat down to wait. That's when some old dudes get up on stage and grab the instruments. The proceed to tell us the Capricorn's van broke down in Colorado and won't be making it tonight. Then they proceed to play some covers. It sucked. Sorry but it did. So we finished our beers and left. Ended up in a bar closer to home playing pool. It was good quality time with Chatterjee but I didn't get to see a show. I guess we missed a fight, the bartender talks about it on her blog so maybe we shouldn't have left so early. I've never actually seen a barfight, but the way she describes it, it was more of a ass kicking then a fight, but that would have made my night. Overall a good time.