4.12.2005

I'm sitting at work, I have about 15 minutes before I get off, that's 15 minutes of doing nothing. Jordan invited me over for a drink, but I don't know if I'm ready to start drinking. I'd probably break down really bad with alcohol in my system, even though it sounds like such a good idea. I should probably try to get some sleep, haven't had much. Maybe food, but my stomach rolls just at the thought. I've only had an apple and a piece of toast to eat for the last 2 days. That can't be good. Lots of water though, red bulls and coffee. I have a running bet with Nick that he'll start smoking again before I start eating, ha, we'll see how that turns out. I kind of understand those people that do the self imposed hunger strikes, if you are really adamant about the cause, you don't feel the hunger. Anyways, that's my opinion 2 days in, not that I'm on a hunger strike, I'm just not hungry. Plus I could lose some weight. Gotta look good again, like P. Diddy said, "Girls are like busses, if you miss one there's another one in 15 minutes." Well, I'm definitely in the anger stage. I was still in denial this morning, but now I'm just angry. That leaves what, 2 stages including depression before I reach acceptance? Good times. Kelsey left me a message, that made me feel good. Hopefully we can talk sometime soon. Well, it's time to go. I have my sister's Jetta, which can easily do 150mph. I can listen to Akon's 'Mr. Lonely' while flying down the highway, see if the tears impair my driving. Catch you later.


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