I was going to post last night. A very angry post, probably full of things I don't mean and things I wouldn't be able to take back. But I bowled, I gambled, I had time to chill and to calm down. Didn't even need the alcohol I thought I would.

It's hard for me to let it go. If I do, it'll disappear. I'll block it out, forget it, like it never happened. I don't want that to happen. But I have to move on. I'm tired of begging, of saying things that she can just push aside. Tired of hurting myself every time I talk to her. Tired of being who I am and doing the things that I do. It's time to grow the fuck up and get realistic. She was little girl when you met her, now she's a grown woman, and you're still playing the little boy, grow the fuck up. She has bigger things to look forward to. Better things than you. Better things than us.

Let it burn...