6.25.2005

You must remember, a Cheetah, born and raised in the wild, will always be a wild animal. Wild animals don't do well in captivity. Oh, they may at first, who wouldn't enjoy all the perks, regular feedings, warm place to sleep, etc. But even a golden cage is still a cage. The Cheetah will get restless and anxious. They'll pace the cage, their eyes on freedom which lies beyond the bars. It is usually at this point, when she will attack, hurting you or herself in the process.

I let Cheetah go today, before she could attack. Maybe I'm giving up on something great but I couldn't take the risk of getting hurt again. I guess now I'll never no if the juice was worth the squeeze.

Fun with metaphors. My life can summed up in a metaphor. Take this for example:

Paradise lies out there, somewhere across the ocean. I've been looking my entire life. I go from island to island looking for perfection, for the happiness that is Paradise. Every island offering me her charms, showering me with gifts, enticing me to stay. But every time I look back out across the horizon, I feel Paradise calling. The problem is, how will I know Paradise when I find it? How do I know I haven't already found it, and left looking for better? Does Paradise exist? Will my ship even go that far? Maybe I should just settle with close to perfect. I've had the honor of visiting some great islands, islands I hated leaving. Maybe they were the best that this ocean has to offer.

Wow that sounds depressing, I'm really not though. I've seen this coming for several days, so it's not a surprise. But it does suck.

You're free Cheetah, free to run. Free to be a Cheetah.


I have a hole in my knee. It is the most painful experience I've ever had. Something bit me about a week ago, probably a spider. It didn't hurt the day of, just a little itchy. Then it got warm, then hot, then it started to drain blood and pus. Doctor gave me some antibiotics but it seems to be getting worse. Just moving my leg hurts. Death would be welcome.


6.19.2005

Second funny call of the day:

Talking to some guy in upstate New York, he's having problems with his optical audio connection or lack there of. Anyways, he's rambling about something and talking about how it sucks that I missed Woodstock and the Dead. Then he says he's never been to Nevada, "I used to follow the Dead but never went to Nevada. Followed them all over though, I was a *pause* 'recording enthusiast'." I'm sorry, did you just say you were a pot head?

A 'recording enthusiast'? What the fuck is that? I didn't say anything, I just placed him on mute and laughed. Is that slang for 'drugged out hippie'. I'm just kidding, I know all of the dead heads were not drugged out hippies, just most of them.


Funnies thing I've heard today. I guess there's a NASCAR race today, and I guess people actually watch that shit, but anyways. I got a call from an old hillbilly bitching that his local channels were broken and he was missing his race. "I done missed an hour already. I been with ya'll ever since you came out, cause we live up here in the mountains. This ain't never happened before." So I quickly reprogrammed his receiver to auto-detect the satellite and his race was back on. "Thanks buddy, now I can go back to drinking beer."

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a true American. God bless the USA!!!


6.15.2005

I'm staring at this, wanting to write something, needing to write something, but I think I'll just go to bed instead. If I'm going to watch my life spin in the abyss, I might as well be laying in bed.


6.14.2005

Take the test and either comment your results or post them on your blog, I want to know everyone's results.



Your Linguistic Profile:



80% General American English

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Dixie

0% Midwestern




6.05.2005

I'm bored at work again. I want to write but I keep getting interrupted by customer's on the phone who don't know how to change the channel, fucking idiots. So I'll kept this light, nothing serious.

Saw the classic rock tribute band, The Yellow Brick Road, last night with Tech and Cheetah. A lot funnier, (almost said funner, but I guess that's not a word, pricks who keep bringing it up :p), where was I, oh yeah, a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I like some classic rock, Aerosmith and Queen come to mind, but I really can't sit and listen to it on the radio or a cd player. But live the shit is fun. I love all (most) live music. Music that is dull and boring on record can be exciting and invigorating when live. The classic rock was fun, but the best part was when they jumped into a Michael Jackson routine (FREE MICHAEL!!!), it was funny, and the impersonation was right on, it was cool. And it's all free, at the Boulder Station, Fridays and Saturdays at 11pm, get there early for a table.

Things with me and Cheetah are still good. She said I'm the complete opposite of other guys she's dated, I don't know how to take that. Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? I'll say good thing and move on, because I doubt she would say it in negative way.

Anyways, I was checking out some astrology site and read this which was interesting to me:

Pisces and Virgo (me and Cheetah) compatibility:
Virgo's emotional responses to Pisces are very intense. If Pisces is physically attractive to Virgo, then the attractive power of Pisces over Virgo is extremely powerful. However, the attraction tends to have a love/hate quality to it, and you feel drawn to each other, but also wary and distrustful of each other. It is likely that you feel both drawn to each other and repulsed by each other at the same time! The emotional response to each other is intense and complex, and the ultimate outcome of this deep, complex emotional tie is difficult to predict, but one thing is certain: this is not a lukewarm relationship and you "get under each other's skin", evoking intense feelings from each other. Virgo can easily become obsessed with Pisces!

Pisces and Libra(me and Neon) compatibility:
This is likely to be a stormy, fiery, and emotional relationship. The romantic attraction between you is very strong, but your feelings are often not in tune with each other. One of you (typically Pisces but sometimes Libra) may feel sexually aroused by the other and consequently be too aggressive in approach, while the other person feels great love and affection, but is not feeling as sexually attracted. Jealousy and possessiveness are also likely. Feelings can swing back and forth and you may not realize how much you love each other until you are away from each other.
You may have a needless fear of the unknown in matters of sexual exploration. Some hesitation may be indicated by one partner. Insecurity and anxiety may cause the odd frustration in enjoying a powerful orgasm.

Pisces and Aries (me and Misha) compatibility:
This is a passionate relationship, but also a rather aggressive and combative one at times. Sex may be a bit rough, crude, or insensitive as well. You stimulate each other both in sexual and non-sexual ways, but you are also inclined to irritate each other. As long as you don't end up fighting and competing with each other, you can accomplish a great deal together. However, the aggressiveness of this relationship is prone to foster anger and hurt feelings - so be careful not to incite hostility in each other.

Pisces and Pisces (me and Nicole) compatibility:
You will experience the heights and depths, love and hate, attraction and repulsion, agony and ecstasy in this relationship. A powerful, compelling fascination and irresistible sexual attraction draws the two of you together like magnets. You love each other with a depth of feeling that is surprising even to yourselves. The powerful charismatic power that you have over each other can be used to manipulate one another, and dominance, control, or jealousy easily become hot issues between you. Whether this is a brief passionate encounter or a life long attachment, you will change one another profoundly.

Well I guess this got deeper than I thought. Which one of those relationships seems the best from those paragraphs?


6.02.2005

Cheetah and I text each other, a lot. Way to much if you ask me. It's a good way to keep in contact, but it really does get annoying. Especially with my phone, an older Sprint model. Anyone who's had Sprint over a year knows that you have to log on to your internet before you can type, send, or read a message. This can take up to 5 minutes to send or read one message, it's almost not worth it. New Sprint phones are like other sms capable phones, you just type and send, no need to connect to anything. I need one before I go crazy. I've already started feeling my phone vibrate when it's not even in my pocket.


Great, these results look good. I took the test but I found a lot of the questions are not easily answered with yes or no, I need a sometimes to really get the truth. I don't agree with most of these at all. "Extreme social anxiety," how so? if anything most of these should be moderate, not high. But then I guess everyone's fucked up somehow.

DisorderRating
Paranoid:High
Schizoid:Moderate
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial:High
Borderline:Moderate
Histrionic:High
Narcissistic:High
Avoidant:High
Dependent:High
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --



6.01.2005