4.28.2005

I love zombie movies. George A. Romero's Land of the Dead trailer, check it out. More Leguizamo please.

Also, check out the newest Batman trailer.


Found this animated Kama Sutra over at kottke's, it's kind of funny, so I thought I'd link to the images that I most enjoy.

*not safe for work you perverts*

Las Vegas Style


Who's Your Daddy

I'm In Love Baby

No good pictures of cowgirl. Too bad, that may be my favorite. I guess I've come a long way from high school and doggystyle.

Anyone tried this one? Looks a little dangerous.


4.26.2005

For those of you that know me, or think you know me, or you just discovered this blog and read a few posts, I have a question you need to answer. If I was a cartoon animal, what kind would I be? Oh and please put why I would be that. Thanks buddies! ;p


4.25.2005

I was going to post last night. A very angry post, probably full of things I don't mean and things I wouldn't be able to take back. But I bowled, I gambled, I had time to chill and to calm down. Didn't even need the alcohol I thought I would.

It's hard for me to let it go. If I do, it'll disappear. I'll block it out, forget it, like it never happened. I don't want that to happen. But I have to move on. I'm tired of begging, of saying things that she can just push aside. Tired of hurting myself every time I talk to her. Tired of being who I am and doing the things that I do. It's time to grow the fuck up and get realistic. She was little girl when you met her, now she's a grown woman, and you're still playing the little boy, grow the fuck up. She has bigger things to look forward to. Better things than you. Better things than us.

Let it burn...


4.24.2005

Stole the following from Kelsey's livejournal. Very funny:

RULES FOR LIVING IN LAS VEGAS

1. First, it's pronounced LOSS VAYGUS, NEVA-A-A-DA (not Nev-ah-da.) It doesn't matter how they say it in other places.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has its own set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.

3. All directions start with, "Go down 95...' cause you don't want to get on 15."

4. Las Vegas Blvd, Charleston Blvd, and Torrey Pines have no beginning and no end.

5. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive".

6. The 8:00 am rush hour is 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is 11:30am to 10:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends some time late Sunday night.

7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from Las Vegas. You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a "pumpkin-orange" hue.

8. For the most part, you can do anything you want, as long as it isn't in a school zone.

9. Just remember that Camino Al Norte is Martin Luther King Blvd., Boulder Highway is Fremont Street, Eastern Ave is 25th Street or Civic Center Drive, Desert Inn is Lamb Blvd., Spring Mountain/Sands/Twain are all the same street. Don't try to figure it out. Just accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.

10. Henderson is the only place in the world where THREE "parallel” streets intersect at one traffic light. That would be the 4-way of Green Valley Parkway/Eastern Avenue/Maryland Parkway. For laughs, ask any middle school Geometry teacher to try to explain it.

11. Rainbow Blvd. has THREE exits from the 95, this just makes giving driving directions to newbies more entertaining. There is also a Lake Mead “Drive" and a Lake Mead "Boulevard" and both run east/west but are 30miles apart. You have to be specific when you say "the corner of Lake Mead and........" Again this is just another way to harass the 5000 newcomers every month.

12. The 215 beltway intersects on the north and the south with many of the same streets, such as Jones/215, Decatur/215 and Rainbow/215. You must be specific in your directions or the repairman will end up 25 miles from your house. Ditto for newcomers.

13. Many major roads just end abruptly in somebody's garage, a Home Depot, a Casino or McCarran International Airport Runway and start again after the interruption. That was done to encourage you to "see the sights" and meet new people. For fun, just try to take Harmon Avenue from Rainbow to Nellis.

14. If moisture at hand is determined to be rain, not sweat, all traffic must immediately cease. Ditto for daylight savings time, girl applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire 3 lanes over. Do not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow, blowing dust, or a 3-day weekend.

15. Once a year, when it rains, the Las Vegas Wash and the City of Las Vegas are one.

16. The wind blows every day, and it is impossible to live in Las Vegas without some kind of allergy drug.

17. Construction on I-15 and US 95 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. I-215 will never be completed. Get used to it!

18. Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd. if you do not like the thought of being in a remake of the movie "Top Gun."

19. And, yes, we all know that man in a teddy and a tiara on Fremont Street. His name is Leslie and he probably makes more money than you do.


4.22.2005

I just threw up. That makes 3 times in the last 5 days. 2 because of alcohol. Too bad I'm not so drunk that I won't remember throwing up. It hurt, real bad this time, burned my throat. But I'm still drinking.

"I don't know her but I think you're taking it a lot harder than she is." NO SHIT. Thanks for being there for me Nick, but you don't need to point out the obvious to me. I don't mean to drag you down with my depression, but I really do appreciate you being there for me.

We went to the Freakin' Frog again tonight. Last time I thought it sucked. I guess it made up for it this time. Sure they only had one bottle of the beer I wanted, but the bartender was cool, recommended some decent beers. They have a jukebox on the wall, the kind that lets you download music for an extra credit. I probably spent about $10 on that alone. But one of the coolest things to ever happen to my drunk self. I played Pulp's Common People, when it came one of the girls sitting in the booth next to me ran all the way from the bar back to her booth, "this song is awesome" she screamed at her friends. I was like "That's right baby, you can thank me for this one." She proceeded to sin the entire song. A few songs later, the Lonely Boys track played, all her friends started bouncing to the beat. It felt good, being with people that enjoyed the same music I do. I then proceeded to get fucked up.

Burn by Usher, haha, I remember when that song came out. I think I even wrote about it here. It reminded me of Michelle, a song that I would of played for her. And now, it's just about Kelly, but instead of me playing it, she's playing it to me.

You see it's burnin' for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
Its been a long time comin
but we done been fell apart
I really wanna work it out
But I don't think you're gonna change-e
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurtin' baby, I ain't happy baby
Cuz there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

When the feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
but you know, gotta let it go
cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Peace


4.20.2005

20 shots of tequila! I was doing the math and that's what it came out to. That's how much tequila I had in about an hour and a half at my cousin's party. 20 fucking shots. That's not counting the rum I'm told I drank afterwards. I only remember that first hour and a half, after that complete darkness. Wow, I don't think I've ever drank that much that quick.

I found out the girl that Viviana introduced me to was actually interested in me. But I guess I totally ignored her and had a chugging contest with a family member instead. Way to go buddy. I remember when Viviana described her, "big ass...," didn't really catch the rest, I was hooked at that point. She looked nice though, I'd met her before, years ago and remember liking her then. Who would of thought alcohol would stop me from hooking up. Even the tequila let me down.

Another crazy thing that happened, I got food poisoning. The irony is that I ate at a little street side taco place in Mexico, big fat man cooking the food, dirty apron, cheap ass place and the food was great and I didn't get sick. I come back to Vegas, eat at a regional taco chain, Tacos Mexico, the food sucked and my bowels were reduced to liquid for 2 days. I woke up at 4 am and threw up, woke up every hour after that to hit the can. I've barely eaten anything all week, and when I do, I throw it up. My tongue swelled up and bled, I had a fever, I think I had most of the symptoms for ebola. Finally, I'm back to normal today, I think. This has really been the shittiest week ever, literally and figuratively.

I'll leave you with a song, a Mexican classic. I wonder how many generations of men have cried to this song while drinking tequila? For those who don't know, the Jalisco way is with mariachi and tequila. Music and alcohol, but it doesn't really make you forget. You still feel empty.

Ella por Jose Alfredo Jimenez, (rough translation by me)

Me canse de rogarle me canse de decirle,
que yo sin ella de pena muero,
ya no quiso escucharme si sus labios se abrieron,
fue pa' decirme ya no te quiero.

Yo senti que mi vida se perdia en un abismo profundo
y negro como mi suerte, quise hayar el olvido al estilo Jalisco
pero aquellos mariachis y aquel tequila me hicieron llorar.

Me canse de rogarle. Con el llanto en mis ojos alze mi copa y brinde con ella,
no podia despreciarme era el ultimo brindis de un bohemio con una reina.
los mariachis callaron.

De mi mano sin fuerza cayo mi copa sin darme cuenta
ella quizo quedarse cuando vio mi tristeza
pero ya estaba escrito que aquella noche perdiera su amor.



I got tired of begging, I got tired of telling her
that me with out her, of grief I'd die,
But she wouldn't listen, when her lips moved
it was to say 'I don't love you'.

I felt I was losing my life in an abyss
deep and dark like my luck, I tried to forget, the Jalisco way,
but those mariachis and the tequila made me cry.

I got tired of begging. With the tears in my eyes I raised my glass and toasted with her
she couldn't refuse me the last toast of a bohemian with his queen.
The mariachi stopped

With no streangth left, from my hand my cup fell with out me knowing
she wanted to stay when she saw my saddness
but it was already written that night I would lose her love


If my friends would let me, this song would be on repeat all day long.


4.17.2005

For those who haven't heard, tomorrow is the day the free tickets are available for the Las Vegas Centennial concert with the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Weezer. They'll be available at noon pacific time here.


4.16.2005

Made it back, safe and sound. Enjoyed the wedding, my first Catholic wedding experience. Different but interesting. The last time I saw my cousin, about a year ago, he was nursing a broken heart. This time, he was getting married. Gave me hope for my self. Love does exist, I just need to find it.

The party afterwards was cool too. Well, what I remember of it. I bought a bottle of tequila, my plan was to drink it all and drink it quick. And I succeeded. And because of that, I don't remember the last part of the party, but I hear I didn't do anything stupid.

But even that wasn't the best part. I met a woman. She's a friend of the family from what I gathered. She's also in her sixties, so no, what you were thinking is not what happened. As I was drinking myself into oblivion, I kept listening to her conversation with some cousins of mine. She was very smart and very interesting. I joined in and we had a very good conversation about current events. After awhile it was just me and her. I don't even know how I brought it up, but I started telling her about what's going on with Kelly and me. I told her everything, all the details, she listened and asked questions, drawing it all out of me. It felt so good telling her. When I was done she talked, she advised me, she consoled me, she really helped me cope with the pain. She gave me a hug, not the kind you give a stranger, but a grandma hugging her grandson type of hug and I hugged back. I needed that so much. I couldn't believe how much better I felt. When she excused herself because of the time, I thanked her and gave her another hug. "You'll be fine," she said as she left, "I can tell."

I finished the rest of my tequila, not to forget, but to remember. I went over the good times, and the bad ones. I'm a better person for having been with Kelly. Between la señora and la tequila I was able to say my goodbyes to Kelly. It still hurts, and probably will for a long time and I may not understand why it happened, but I do understand that it did happen and I can move on.

Gracias por la ayuda Señora.

Goodbye Kelly




4.14.2005

I'll be in Mexico for the next two days. My cousin is getting married. Part of me doesn't want to go, but he's my best friend, maybe seeing him happy will do me good. I hope I don't ruin it for him. So don't think I'm dead if I don't post for 2 days. But then again my plane could crash and you'll never hear from me again, would you even notice?


One good thing about being single, I can now write about other girls on this blog. I don't know how long of a "grieving" period I'll take, but it won't be long. Too many fish in the sea to not go fishing. I thought I'd put my fishing pole away for good, I thought I'd caught the "big one", but alas it twas not so. I guess my boat sank and she got away. So out of retirement I will come. Now I've got a new and better boat, and I'm taking my fishing pole out of storage. Bait it. Cast it. Now wait for a nibble and yank the bitch out. Hey, you never know, I might catch the same one again, it's happened before. But I may be practicing "catch and release" for awhile, we'll wait and see on that one.


*Oh yeah, for those who care, I started eating again. Had half a muffin for breakfast, and a little salad for lunch. Probably pretzels on the airplane for dinner. I've decided I'm going to start eating a lot less. I used to have seconds on everything, but since I obviously don't need so much, I'm cutting down. Half portions from now on.
Yesterday, for some reason, while I was monitoring a new agent, her voice kind of mesmorized me. She wasn't saying anything sexy, in fact she was talking about access cards and serial numbers. But something in her voice really got to me. Just listening to the sound of her voice, and the way she giggled, I really wanted to know who it was.

So I found out. Hispanic mix (maybe white but I hope not, I'm done with crazy white chicks), tall, long hair, really pretty. Now I just got to get the nerves up to approach her.

I kept thinking, what about her voice got to me. So I had Nick listen in. When I asked him what he thought he said she sounds 13. At first I thought he was kidding, because he was referring to an inside joke we have. It's about something Dr. Drew said on Loveline. When a person gets abused as a child, you can tell by their voice. For example, a 25 year old woman who was raped at 5 sounds like a 5 year old when you close your eyes and listen to her voice.

I would fall for a girl that sounds needy. Every girl I've ever been with has some issue, be it sexual abuse, parental neglect, divorced parents, I've seen them all.

So it comes down to me wanting a girl who needs me. I need to feel indispensable to her, like I'm the only person that can comfort her. I guess I'm not issue free either. Maybe no one is.


4.13.2005

Joshua Ellis wrote this on his blog:

So I’m sitting at the CoffeeBean, and there’s this pretty girl sitting at a table across the way, with her guy. As I was unloading my laptop, I glanced up and saw her give him this look of incredibly sweet warmth – like she was just happy to be sitting there, with him, in the soft warmth of a Nevada spring.

Part of me wished I had someone to look at me that way, of course. But I mostly felt reaffirmed in some small way that, despite whatever horrors humanity can conceive, there’s still room for beautiful young girls in floral-print skirts to sit and fall in love. Something still works, I guess.


I wish I could believe him, because that's the exact thing I wish I had. Maybe if I met a girl that actually liked to wear skirts. That's a long shot I know, but Kelly wouldn't even wear a skirt if I asked her to. I wonder if she would for the other guy.


I wish I wasn't at fault this time, I wish I'd never fucked up. If I was innocent in this I'd be able to retaliate. To hate. To lash out with all I've got. To fight back and hurt as much as I can. To burn whatever I can, so there's nothing left.

Last night I was rounding up all her things, all her presents, letters, anything that reminded me of her. Her paintings, pottery, drawings, clothes, pictures, books, and anything else I could find. I was going to take it to her mom's, but as I'm looking at it, all layed out in front of me, I just wanted to break it. To tear it all up. To make it not exist. To make the memories stop hurting me. But they mean so much to me, it's all I have left. I hate myself for wanting to destroy them.

Fuck this.

4.12.2005

I caved and ate, my sister made some mole, and I had to have some. Kind of ironic though, I kind of considered that Kelly and I's dish. It was good but I think I'm about to throw up. I just had a little bit, and my stomach is flip flopping.

Well, The Shield is on tv, I think I might be able to sit through that, I tried yesterday but ended up going out for a walk instead.


I'm sitting at work, I have about 15 minutes before I get off, that's 15 minutes of doing nothing. Jordan invited me over for a drink, but I don't know if I'm ready to start drinking. I'd probably break down really bad with alcohol in my system, even though it sounds like such a good idea. I should probably try to get some sleep, haven't had much. Maybe food, but my stomach rolls just at the thought. I've only had an apple and a piece of toast to eat for the last 2 days. That can't be good. Lots of water though, red bulls and coffee. I have a running bet with Nick that he'll start smoking again before I start eating, ha, we'll see how that turns out. I kind of understand those people that do the self imposed hunger strikes, if you are really adamant about the cause, you don't feel the hunger. Anyways, that's my opinion 2 days in, not that I'm on a hunger strike, I'm just not hungry. Plus I could lose some weight. Gotta look good again, like P. Diddy said, "Girls are like busses, if you miss one there's another one in 15 minutes." Well, I'm definitely in the anger stage. I was still in denial this morning, but now I'm just angry. That leaves what, 2 stages including depression before I reach acceptance? Good times. Kelsey left me a message, that made me feel good. Hopefully we can talk sometime soon. Well, it's time to go. I have my sister's Jetta, which can easily do 150mph. I can listen to Akon's 'Mr. Lonely' while flying down the highway, see if the tears impair my driving. Catch you later.


In tomorrow I see no promise
and yesterday was like today



You live and you learn and you enjoy life, and sometimes you get a chance to do it with that one person. More than a friend, more than a lover, deeper than anything either one of you has experienced before. Every breathing moment, you're on each other's mind. Being together multiplies the experience by a thousand. The good times are better with each other. The bad times are that much worse. Enjoy it while it lasts, because all good things come to an end. Something I've learned in this short life, but you can count on it. You can cheat death, evade taxes, but you can't escape a broken heart.

The End


4.11.2005

I walked to Starbucks, walked because my car broke down. When it rains it really pours on me. Anyways, on the way there I remembered Jana works there. I wanted to see her. I want to talk to her. As I walked I had a hundred different conversations with her in my head. I hurt her. Bad. For no reason other than because I could. She was there, she made me a chai, but I chickened out. Maybe tomorrow. I just want to ask her about me. Before things went to hell she knew who I was. Maybe she can give me some insight into why I keep fucking things up.

Thinking about Jana made me think about Nicole. Our last night together sticks out in my mind. We were at Bill's apartment. Bill was a 50 year old gay man who used to invite teens over to drink, yeah, weird but it was free alcohol. We were standing on the balcony. We'd been talking about little things, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes, "Do you want to be with Michelle or me? Pick."

I chose Michelle, why I don't know. Nicole laid in my arms the rest of night, crying. In the morning she gave me kiss, looked at me and said, "We could of been great together." and walked out of my life. Why did I choose Michelle. She wasn't smarter, or prettier, nothing about Michelle made her the logical choice. But I thought I was in love. That's probably the biggest mistake I've ever made. We could have been great together.

And speaking of the ever present Michelle. I was moving to Las Vegas, city of sin, the big city for a country boy like me. 2 months before I left Wyoming I asked Michelle out. We should of known it wouldn't work. I was 19, she was 16. Our first real relationship. My first love, my first betrayal, my first broken heart.

I read the following before I met Michelle. It's from a book called The Mars Venus Affair. Horoscopes based on Mars and Venus which have an effect on your love life. My sun sign is Pisces and so are my Mars and Venus. I'm a total Pisces. A dreamer.

You are in pursuit of a dream, and by no means is it a peaceful dream. You fantasize about extraordinary passions, extreme emotions, and romantic insanity. The search for this dream often makes you agitated and restless. You blow through people's lives like a hurricane, leaving a path of shattered hearts and broken promises. You long for stability and commitment, but only the relationship of your dreams will satisfy you. All other relationships are expendable.
If you are lucky enough to find your dream early in life, then you have a wonderful capacity for living happily ever after. If you don't, then the situation can get out of control. Physical sex is always less important to you than emotional security, but your emotional needs are so intense that you often don't take time to notice the difference. Any kind of emotional release--even the most casual or callous--can sustain you for awhile. When your dream seems distant and unattainable, you are all to willing to settle for these short-term fixes.


I wonder if this became a self fulfilling prophecy. It seems right on with my life up to now. I wonder if I can break the cycle or if I'll ever find my dream.

I think I'm past the shock and denial stage. I sat in front of Starbucks and thought about all this, and it helped lift the weight on my chest. Kelly isn't the first, probably won't be the last. But I wish she had been.

So like the fish, it's time for me to swim on, to better waters.


Work is fucking dragging on. I can't stand it. All the fucking happy people, hugging and kissing. Everywhere you look you see a couple, fuck them. I wonder how long I'll keep this job if I take an early out.

Tim asked me how I got over Michelle last time this happened. I guess I wallowed in self hate for a few months until I started seeing Kelly. Kind of lifted me out of my shit hole. Only to send me back. Yeah, I think I'll take an early out. Go get a beer with Nick. Maybe meet someone new, there's no reason to wait for months.

In the song Fuck You Lucy, Slug mentions that she should get a tattoo, the word WARNING, so guys have the choice to not get involved. Maybe I should get that tattoo. When ever I get my heart broken it's because I broke her's first. No excuse if they see the warning. Sounds like a good idea.


I guess I did finally fall asleep, got maybe 3 hours total. Found some cds with good fuck you music. Some ICP and Eminem. It's hate music that makes me feel good right now. I had Uncle Kracker playing for a bit, but I got all teary eyed and shit, so I dropped Another Love Song by ICP in instead. Followed by Fuck the World.

I was driving around last night, before I found out. Just me and the city. I cruised the strip, downtown, and the freeway. It's ironic, at the time I was thinking how the lights reminded me of her. Neon. With out it Vegas is just another hole in the desert. Well, the lights just went out.

Ha, god I'm being dramatic. That's me for you. I'll be fine, always am.


I can't sleep. I laid in bed for what seemed like hours only to find out it was barely 55 minutes. I keep thinking of about the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If I could, would I erase her? Those memories didn't keep her from doing what she did, so of what use are they. If only there was a big delete button. But there's not, so instead I'm gonna finish my drink, and have another while you think about how you used to be my lover.

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
Eminem - Kim



I'm trembling almost too much to type. I want to scream, hit something, hurt someone, anything but just sit here. It finally happened. She slept with someone else. It was only a matter of time. And I actually thought I'd found the one this time. The One. But I was wrong, she's just another girl. Just another name on a list. A memory. A deleted scene.

getting in a million memories just to forget her
the difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
cookies for the road
took me by the soul
hunger for the drama
hunger for the nurture
gonna take it further
the hurt feels like murder
interperate
the eyes
read the lines on her face
the sunshine is fake
how much time did i waste?
Fuck you lucy for leaving me
Fuck you lucy for not needin me
I wanna say fuck you
because i still love you
no, im not ok
and i dont know what to do
Atmosphere - Fuck You Lucy


I fucked up and she gave me another chance. I guess that makes her a better person because she's not getting another chance. Doesn't even sound like she'd like one. But by giving me another chance it gave her the ability to fuck me over. Smart move. I guess we're even now. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

So much for sleeping tonight.

I just want to be so mean to her right now, all these names I could call her, but it's not worth it. Maybe I'll post the email she sent to her friend describing in detail her transgressions. Maybe I will.

I guess we know now why she hasn't been calling me every night like she used to. She's been to busy making out with him. I hope he enjoys the hookah I bought you.

It's my fault, I understand that. But for you to throw our friendship away like that. I don't understand that. All those things you said you wanted to do with me. Like traveling, we were going to start this summer. Fuck you. Fuck you for ruining it. Fuck you for pretending. Fuck you.


4.10.2005

Felt shitty when I woke up so I called in to work. Went to the Meadows mall to buy a dress shirt and tie and I ended up having lunch there. What a shitty little food court. I went with the ManchuWok and it was the worst Panda Express imitation I've ever had. It was so damn dry, and the rice wasn't sticky. I think it made me feel even worse because I came home and fell asleep for most of the day. I feel like a salad now. Something that's actually good for my body, unlike rum, coke, pizza, and shitty Chinese. Some of my mom's posole would be perfect.


This is fucking boring. Pizza was good, rum is good, but I'm bored out of my mind. I guess I could play Xbox, but that sounds boring too. My Ipod is out of juice and I don't have the power connector here. I'm on my roommates's computer and he has shit for music. I have four cd's, none of them that good. Fuck. Neon's ignored me for a week, but she doesn't seem to think it's a big deal, so fuck that. I think I need more rum, so my inner monkey will come out and keep me company. Or a fucking life would be nice too. But all I have is rum so rum it is. Fuck, I have to work tomorrow.

PS: I got rid of the title's, coming up with catchy or relevant titles is a bitch.


Oregon Trail

I remember when I was in fourth grade, we used to play Oregon Trail during recess or after school. I remember having a hard time finishing the game, and if I did I was the lowest rank possible. This game was so fun, my entire class lived to play it. I tried it about a week ago. It took me about 10 minutes to beat it, nobody in my party died, food was never in short supply, and overall the game was pretty boring. Too bad.


4.09.2005

Pizza and Rum

Could have gone to the bar, or to a coworker's party, but I'm not in the mood, instead I got a large pepperoni, mushroom and green pepper pizza, a bottle of rum, and twelve of Coke.

I'm online thanks to one of my new neighbors who left his wireless network open for public use. Seems I won't have to pay the $50 a month to Cox.

I had to go to Smiths to buy some glasses so I could mix my rum and Coke. The cashier made a great comment, "You can't have girls over with out glasses." Oh so true.

More too come as I fade into oblivion...


4.08.2005

Eight Legged Freaks

Woke up, got up, near eleven o'clock
butt naked except I was wearing my socks
and that's cool, 'cause most the time this floor is cold
stand up and stretch look around this mess
my place has been a cage since she left me
make my way to the kitchen, start the coffee
then dip to the bathroom, begin the triple-s
and wash the previous evening off me
now out the shower, get dry, shove a q-tip in my ear
well, what do we have here?
it appears as if a piece of me has got motivation
ain't nothin' wrong with a little morning masturbation
-Atmosphere - Like Today


After all that, I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed some pants off the floor. They were clean, I just moved into the house and haven't put stuff into my closet yet. Anyways, I start to put them on, just like everyone else, one leg at a time, when I see this fucking huge ass spider fall out. I kicked those pants off like they were on fire. Ugly, the spider (yes I named it), takes off towards my bed. I'm hopping around in my underwear, goosebumps all over. Ugly pauses right under my bed. I grab a shoe, Adidas, size 12, old school spider stomping gear. I calm down now that I'm armed. I creep forward, Ugly skitters under my bed out of sight. I drop down and see him over near the wall so I pull my bed out. There's Ugly, up against the baseboard, skurrd. Mighty Adidas whistles through the air and splats down upon Ugly. "Ya bitch," I say. I lift the shoe and Ugly moves towards me. "What the fuck!" Splat! Splat! Splat! Finally the little motherfucker stopped moving, or so I thought. I scooped him up into a basket and showed my roommate. Then I went to check my email and he took Ugly outside and it turns out the bastard was still alive up to that point. 240lbs of Tim ended Ugly's life for good. He was a strong little fucker, and for that I salute you, Ugly The Spider.


4.03.2005

New Beginnings

I'm finally moved into the new house. Well, mostly moved in, still have a few boxes of crap left at my sisters, but most of it is probably crap that I'll end up throwing out. I've been a pack rat the last few years and need to shed some of the baggage.

It's going to take some getting used to the new neighborhood. I've been living on the West side for about 4 years now, Spring Valley and Summerlin. The new house is in the North. Technically it's in North Las Vegas by a block, but the area is nice and seems safe. Only real bad thing so far is the long drive to work or anywhere else. I'll get over it though.