Love Again

by Philip Larkin

Love again: wanking at ten past three
(Surely he's taken her home by now?),
The bedroom hot as a bakery,
The drink gone dead, without showing how
To meet tomorrow, and afterwards,
And the usual pain, like dysentery.

Someone else feeling her breasts and cunt,
Someone else drowned in that lash-wide stare,
And me supposed to be ignorant,
Or find it funny, or not to care,
Even ... but why put it into words?
Isolate rather this element

That spreads through other lives like a tree
And sways them on in a sort of sense
And say why it never worked for me.
Something to do with violence
A long way back, and wrong rewards,
And arrogant eternity.

Listening to: Faithless - Mass Destruction

How Come...

How Come...we don't even talk no more
And you don't even call no more
We don't barely keep in touch at all
And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grapevine...we even beefin' now
After all the years we've been down...ain't no way no how
This bullshit can't be true
We family...ain't a damn thing changed...unless its you!

Listening to: D12 - How Come



I love listening to The Reverend. He is the most passionate speaker so far. He has that great church minister voice that makes you want to yell out 'amen.' He really gets the crowd going. He knew what to say to rouse the troops. Clinton was charismatic but had a laid back feeling. Sharpton was in your face. He had great one liners, he made some great points, and he really took it to Bush.

It looks like he went off of the speech he was originally going to do, because the transcript on the Dems. website is much tamer than the one he delivered. I think this is a good thing. Sure, they need to make sure a speaker doesn't fuck it up but you can't completely restrain a speaker with out ruining his speech.
...The promise of America provides that those who work in our health care system can afford to be hospitalized in the very beds they clean up every day.

The promise of America is that government does not seek to regulate your behavior in the bedroom, but to guarantee your right to provide food in the kitchen.

The issue of government is not to determine who may sleep together in the bedroom, it's to help those that might not be eating in the kitchen.

The promise of America is one immigration policy for all who seek to enter our shores, whether they come from Mexico, Haiti or Canada, there must be one set of rules for everybody...

...We cannot welcome those to come and then try and act as though any culture will not be respected or treated inferior. We cannot look at the Latino community and preach one language. No one gave them an English test before they sent them to Iraq to fight for America...

...It, to me, is a glaring contradiction that we would fight, and rightfully so, to get the right to vote for the people in the capital of Iraq in Baghdad, but still don't give the federal right to vote for the people in the capital of the United States, in Washington, D.C....

...You said the Republican Party was the party of Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. It is true that Mr. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, after which there was a commitment to give 40 acres and a mule.

That's where the argument, to this day, of reparations starts. We never got the 40 acres. We went all the way to Herbert Hoover, and we never got the 40 acres.

We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us...


Hear Sharpton here, or read transcript here.

Listening to: The Reverend Al Sharpton

Moore Interviews

I finally got to see the O'Reilly interview of Moore. I feel Moore did a great job. He really mad O'Reilly look bad. But like O'Reilly says at the end, you can't change a person's mind when they aren't open to it. If Moore said the sky was blue O'Reilly would dispute it. O'Reilly fails to see the logic in Moore's case. Too bad.

Also the Ron Reagan interview is cool.

All I'm posting are the torrent files because I don't have the space for the actual file. Get BitTorrent HERE.

O'Reilly vs. Moore
Reagan and Moore

Listening to: Above Interviews

Boldly Going Where...He's...Gone Before

I found out through Sizemore's MP3 Blog that William Shatner has a new CD coming out. The majority of the album was written by Shatner and his friend Ben Folds. He also brought in a few other stars to help out including: Henry Rollins and Brad Paisley. Go listen to his cover of Pulp's Common People, with Joe Jackson. I think I like it better than the original. This man is a God.

Here's a complete track listing:

# "Common People" (with Joe Jackson)
# "It Hasn't Happened Yet"
# "You'll Have Time"
# "Trying" (with Ben Folds and Aimee Mann)
# "What Have You Done"
# "Together" (with Lemon Jelly)
# "Familiar Love"
# "Ideal Woman"
# "Has Been"
# "I Can't Get Behind That" (with Henry Rollins)
# "Real" (with Brad Paisley)

Listening to: William Shatner with Joe Jackson - Common People

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I feel very good right now, well not physically since I have a sore throat and cold sore, but emotionally. I've been really down for about the last week, shit the whole summer really. I was going paranoid and jealous, but I took care of it tonight. It was better knowing either way than not knowing and just making shit up in my head. I was thinking of drinking tonight but I'll just listen to music instead. Happy music. J-Pop music. I can't understand the lyrics so it can't possibly make me sad. No rap tonight. I realized my rap mp3 collection has started turning very emoish lately. And nothing fucks with your head like emo. So all's quiet on this front.

Listening to: Morning Musume - BABY! Koi ni Knock Out ! (sounds familiar)


I came home just in time to watch Bill Clinton's speech at the convention. Wow! What a great speaker. If only he could run again. Kerry's going to have a hard time topping Clinton. It was the best pro-Kerry anti-Bush speech I've heard all year. He didn't slam Bush yet gave great arguments against him. He didn't resort to name calling or character bashing, he just laid out a point by point argument comparing the two. Very well done from a great man.

Hopefully I can dl Al Gore's and the rest of the speaker's speeches with bittorrent.

Listening to: Convention Discussions


Republican Guidelines

Stole these from happytapioca. Very funny and true.
1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

3. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

5. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

11. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

16. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but wha tBush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

18. Taking a classified document is the end of the world, but outting a CIA agent is good clean fun.

Listening to: Silence, damn it I just noticed.

Funny Old Lady

I was surfing the television around midnight. For some reason Oxygen, another network for women, was not blocked. I saw this old lady waving a pink dildo around, saying it's her favorite, how it was hard to get the testers to give it back, and how it smells fruity and then smelling it. Oh my god. That's great. I ended up watching the entire show. It's called The Sunday Night Sex Show (it's not Sunday). People call in and ask questions, she has dolls she uses to show different sexual positions, she reviews sex books, shows her favorite sex toys, etc. Since I only got to watch about 15 minutes I went online to the shows site. They have video clips there, which are must see. Especially the one about oral sex. She's holding the dildo up to her mouth to demonstrate. She's right about it not being a pretty sight. Funniest thing on TV, educational too.


Listening to: The Daily Show


King Arthur

I watched King Arthur yesterday. I don't understand why it's doing so bad at the box office. I loved it. Better than Troy, better than Spider-Man 2, better than anything else out right now. Yet, people are not going to see it.

The movie is the story of Arthur told as it could have happened, not the story you know. I love the magic of all the previous tales told about Arthur, but seeing this movie made it real. It had it's own magic, not from a wizard but from the land, their love, their heart.

I do wish the movie had been rated R, so the fighting could have been a more realistic, but even after saying that, I thought it was better than the fighting in Troy. Also the Roman sets could have been better done. They looked a little too new. I loved the costume and the local Britons looked incredible. They reminded me of Dark Elves. Keira Knightley as Guinevere, with blue makeup and a bow, baring her teeth at the Saxons, beautiful.

I loved the fact that Lancelot does not betray Arthur. I've always hated the Lancelot character because of his seduction of Guinevere. But here he redeems himself in my eyes. And speaking of Guinevere. Never have I seen a more beautiful Guinevere. She's not the week, blond, Princess that I've come to imagine. She's Arthur's equal.


This Land

Very, very, funny Kerry vs. Bush animation. Here.


With Trembling Fingers

A great article on the state of our country under George Bush, by Hal Crowther. Here's an excerpt.
A guerrilla who opposes an invading army on his own soil is not a terrorist, he's a resistance fighter. In Iraq we're not fighting enemies but making enemies. As Richard Clarke and others have observed, every dollar, bullet and American life that we spend in Iraq is one that's not being spent in the war on terrorism. Every Iraqi, every Muslim we kill or torture or humiliate is a precious shot of adrenaline for Osama and al Qaeda.

via Zenarchery



I just finished reading one of the saddest but amazing books ever. Blankets by Craig Thompson is one of the best graphic novels I've ever read. It's a story about Craig growing up, his first love, his faith, and finding himself in life. His relationship with Raina made me yearn for the same. I fell in love with Raina. I wish this book had never ended.

The book comes in at 582 pages, and I whipped through it in about an hour. Thompson's black and white art is excellent. It's very clear and never gets muddy and hard to make out like some b&w comics can. He portrayed emotion, especially saddness and lonliness, so well in his panels. The writing sounded very natural and never broke the spell by being out of place.

Excellent book, a must own for any comic fan. Go here for a six page preview. Great article here.



I went to the Aquabats show a few days ago. Didn't really like them. I thought, a bunch of guys dressed up as super heroes playing music - has potential. But I was let down by them. Plus I was led to believe that they're a ska band. Right. A ska band with only two horns? I think not. I went to a Reel Big Fish show once, now that was ska. But anyways, I had fun if only cuz the people I was with are cool. They tried to get me to skank but to no avail. If I didn't skank in high school back when ska was cool, I wasn't going to do it now.


Well, some people think cucumbers taste better pickled.

The Las Vegas Heat!?

I was reading the Chicago Tribune (online) and I came upon this little tidbit buried within an article on the Shaq trade to Miami.
The Heat has been in financial difficulty in recent years. It's also the only NBA team that has hidden its balcony behind a curtain because of empty seats. Fortunes improved during Miami's exciting playoff run, but rumors remain that the franchise is one of most likely to be sold.

The Las Vegas Heat?

That's a name that fits the move.

South Florida isn't the greatest place for an NBA franchise. Pro basketball never has been big there. Even the old ABA bailed out after a short stay. It has been a struggle for the Heat, which already is playing in its second new arena since joining the NBA in 1988 and historically ranks among the lowest in average attendance.

With the lure of Las Vegas, O'Neal and Dwyane Wade in Heat uniforms, and Jordan in an ownership position, it would be no problem for him to put together a major ownership group. Jordan would have a chance to run the first major-league sports franchise in Las Vegas. And what a draw that would be for players.

Ooh wee! The Las Vegas Heat! Has a nice ring to it doesn't it? I would be in heaven if this happened. All the talk is about the Expos maybe coming to town (haven't heard yes or no yet) but come on, that's baseball. Baseball just doesn't have the excitement that basketball does. I would enjoy the Expos, but they kinda suck and it would be a few years before that changed. The Heat, on the other hand, would be Championship contenders immediately. Shaq in the East, nobodies stopping him. I've never liked Shaq, but for some reason his leaving the Lakers has made him likable. I guess it's the Lakers I hate.

While this may just be crazy talk, I'm excited.


Great Advice For the Kids

Bad News Hughes has some more advice to lay upon us. Listen closely, and write it down, it may save your life.
Contrary to popular belief, you don't become a geek because you're smarter than everyone else. You become a geek because your social skills are retarded. While you're off administering a Linux system, the rest of us are kissing girls. So the tech support guys can be as snide as they want. The minute the clock strikes 5, we win.

A wise man once said, "If she can take the occasional punch without running off and crying to the cops, she's probably worth keeping around." Hmmm... Wait a minute... Did I type that out right? Shit, who the hell told me that, Ike Turner? Christ, that's terrible. Kids, maybe you ought to hold off on this one until further notice.

New Look

I had nothing better to do, so I started cutting and pasting and this is what I came up with. Let me know what you think. Don't hold back either.


Unleash The Monkey

Drinking alone, on the other hand, is a much more pure and forthright form of imbibing, and I say that because it focuses entirely on the simple act of putting alcohol into your bloodstream. It tosses aside all the half-hearted pretensions about merely using alcohol as a social tool. It gets down to what drinking is all about: getting loaded, and by doing that, getting down to the inner you. The inner joy, the inner madness, the subconscious you, the real you.

Ha, and I always thought it meant I was an alcoholic.

It is now that you will recognize the monkey for who he truly is: he is you without social constraints. A slave unchained. He is you without the worry of what other people think. He is what you want to be, not what your parents, friends, lover, boss and God want you to be.

Must read this, it's great.
Maybe you can tell, I'm drinking alone.

Have a Beer

I've been on a beer kick lately. Just another one of the fads I go through every now and then. I've usually been a Corona or Heineken kind of guy, but I decided to give darker beers a try. My first choice, because I've heard of it and because they sell it around the corner is a beer from Colorado. Fat Tire was a beer I heard a lot about growing up in Jackson, Wyoming. The makers describe it as follows:
Like the ageless delight of pedaling a bicycle, Fat Tire Amber Ale's appeal is in its feat of balance: Toasty malt flavors (sorta like biscuits just pulled from the oven) coasting in equilibrium with crisp hoppiness. Delicious stability-in the sometimes precarious world of beer flavors-is perhaps what prompted a consumer who wrote us to say "this beer just makes you smile."

If someone had described it to me as 'biscuits just pulled from the oven', I probably would never have touched it. Nothing like biscuits, but it is good. I guess that's malt I'm tasting, only God knows for sure, but I like it. So this is my favorite beer at the moment.

I was at an English Pub awhile back, the Crown and Anchor, and I had a Smithwicks, or as the British fellow said, "When you're drunk, you can just say Smithicks". It was good, unfortunately, that's the only place I've seen it and it's all the way across town. I also tried Guinness Stout, that tasted like shit. Actually it reminded me of sausage, since it was so smokey flavored, it probably would have been good with some pork. Nasty though, too dark for me, I'll stick to the Amber Ales.

Bottoms up.



Songs I always come back to while drinking.
Its been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone way too long
Maybe I've forgotten all the things I miss
Oh, somehow I know there is more to life than this
I've said it too many times and I still stand firm
You get what you put in and people get what the deserve

Kid Rock - Only God Knows Why

I'm feeling pain as it came to an end
I said to shorty "I will always be your friend"
Now if you ever need me I will be right there
I aint going nowhere
For real

Lost Boyz - Me and My Crazy World

Bury me smilin'
with G's in my pocket
have a party at my funeral
let every rapper rock it
let tha hoes that I usta know
from way before
kiss me from my head to my toe
give me a paper and a pen
so I can write about my life of sin
a couple bottles of Gin
incase I don't get in
tell all my people i'm a Ridah
nobody cries when we die
we outlaws
let me ride

2Pac - Live Goes On


First Friday

I accompanied Neon to First Friday which is an arts and entertainment event in the Las Vegas Arts District. Some months there is great art, some months the art is shit. This month, in my opinion, the art was bad. I don't pretend to be able to do any better but I feel like I can tell good art from bad art. Anyways, there was free alcohol, free cheese and crackers, and free music. So overall it was a fun night out. Here's a few pics I took with my cell phone.

I wasn't sure if these were art pieces or actually made for sitting. I grabbed a Tecate and sat down, nobody said anything so I guess it wasn't art.

A view towards the strip.

Picture of the mural on the wall of graffiti artist Dray's bungalow. Because it's across from a school bus stop, some people have complained over the exposed breasts. Of course these people don't complain about the showgirls asses that are plastered on most taxis or the stripjoint billboards. Whatever, losers. I happen to like this mural a lot and hope to see more. So do the kids at the bus stop.

An Interview with Chuck Palahniuk

Found this interview on Bookslut. It's pretty good. I haven't actually read any of his books, though I want to, but he seems like a really cool guy. There's some good tips in there for you writers.

Some writers research in order to write. I write in order to research topics that interest me. Especially if I can meet with other people, in forums from illness support groups to phone-sex hotlines, and learn what other people know best. Every character (really, person) sees the world through a framework of education and experience that they're proud experts about. To write a character, find out what they know best, and THEN you'll know how they'll describe a "hot day." Or a "pretty girl."
Chuck Palahniuk