4.14.2004

...


It hurt to say goodbye. It always does. Being alone. In a city like this. Where who you know is so important. I sit in a cafe, with a cup of coffee, a pen, and a napkin. I stare out into the casino and all the lights blur together. I look down at the napkin and stare. The pen poised and ready but I can't make sense of my thoughts. The coffee sits there, cold, with no taste. I look up again. The girl two booths over looks up too. She smiles. I attempt to smile back but she' looked away already. She's writing somthing. She giggles. Thoughts of her and me in bed flash through my mind. Clear. Entire fantasies are made up inside my head, pushing out all the shit that sits there. The waitress walks by. I add her into the mix. Then then I add the cocktail waitress. And the old lady sitting at the penny slots chain smoking. Oh shit. I went to far. Ruined that train of thought. I'm still alone.

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