Freshman Girls, Get'm While They're Thin
This is a warning to Kelly who's going off to KCAI in the great state of Missouri. Everyone knows that freshman girls gain weight that first year. It's commonly known as the "freshman 15", 15lbs being around the average weight gain. According to the link above, it's mostly because of dorm food and junk food, but I think we all know it's the beer. Lot's and lot's of beer. So take heed, Kelly, and don't fall into the same trap as other coed's who have gone before you.
Just playin' with you, have a great time in Kansas City, Klyde.