Funnies thing I've heard today. I guess there's a NASCAR race today, and I guess people actually watch that shit, but anyways. I got a call from an old hillbilly bitching that his local channels were broken and he was missing his race. "I done missed an hour already. I been with ya'll ever since you came out, cause we live up here in the mountains. This ain't never happened before." So I quickly reprogrammed his receiver to auto-detect the satellite and his race was back on. "Thanks buddy, now I can go back to drinking beer."

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a true American. God bless the USA!!!