Speaking of Mike getting dumped, he keeps asking for my advice on what he should do. How the fuck should I know. I can barely handle my own life, I probably shouldn't be giving out advice...especially while drinking but I digress.
Mike: She said she'd call me back and that was three days ago.
Me: She's probably too busy fucking someone else.
Mike: What? Oh my god, my life sucks I want to kill myself. (emo kid to begin with)
Me: Oh no, I'm sure that's not it, she's probably busy working.
Mike: All day, with no breaks, for three day's straight? She doesn't have five minutes to pick up the phone?
Me: True. Ok, she's fucking somebody. Want a beer?
Mike: Ya a Bud Light.
Me: Dude, quit being a pussy and get a real beer.*
So as you can see, I'm a little too jaded to be giving out relationship advice. But they ask, so I must share in the wisdom.
Listening to: Wonder Why They Call You Bitch - Tupac Shakur
*elaborated a smidge